Our friend Lionel is known for his witty puns and excellent comedic timing. He even filmed a standup set for Yabla! Apparently, a good sense of humor runs in his family. In Lionel's latest video, his cousin Jean-Pierre cracks a joke about the Vosges mountain range: 

Y a une blague à propos de...

There's a joke about...

justement des Vosges du Nord.

precisely about the Northern Vosges.

Quand on voit pas les Vosges du Nord,

When you don't see the Northern Vosges,

c'est qu'il pleut.

it's because it's raining.

Et quand on les voit bien, c'est qu'il va pleuvoir.

And when you see them clearly, it means that it's going to rain.

Captions 85-90, Lionel - à Lindre-Basse

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BANNER PLACEHOLDER

If you didn't laugh at Jean-Pierre's joke, you probably had to be there (near the Northern Vosges, that is). 

Une blague doesn't only refer to a verbal joke. It can also be a trick or a prank you play on someone: 

On va leur faire une bonne blague!

We're going to play a nice trick on them!

Caption 23, Il était une fois - Notre Terre - 9. Les écosystèmes

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Une farce and un tour are the other words for "trick," "prank," or "practical joke":

Une farce joyeuse et de franche gaieté.

A joyous prank with uninhibited gaiety.

Caption 10, Il était une fois... l’Homme - 6. Le siècle de Périclès

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Ils ont plus d'un tour dans leur sac.

They have more than one trick in their bag [up their sleeves].

Caption 34, Il était une fois... la vie - 14. La bouche et les dents

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There's also another word for "joke": une plaisanterie. This example explains what happens in your body when you laugh at a joke: 

Vous savez que ce sont les lèvres glottiques

You know that it's the glottic folds

qui sous l'effet d'une plaisanterie se mettent à vibrer.

that start vibrating when a joke is told.

Captions 8-9, Le Journal - Les effets bénéfiques du rire!

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So how do you say "to crack a joke" or "to tell a joke" in French? You can either say raconter une plaisanterie or raconter une blague: 

Il aime raconter des plaisanteries [or des blagues] grivoises.
He loves to tell dirty jokes. 

But if you're talking about "joking" or "joking/messing around," then you use the verbs plaisanter or blaguer:

Ils blaguaient tout le temps pendant leur enfance.
They always used to joke around when they were little. 

Tu plaisantes! Je ne crois pas ça. -Non, je ne plaisante pas! 
You're kidding! I don't believe that. -No, I'm not kidding!

BANNER PLACEHOLDER

Thanks for reading! We'll be back soon with a new lesson. Sans blague! (No joke!)

The French Conditional - Part 2

In her latest lesson, Patricia introduces the conditional mood, used to describe hypothetical situations. Unlike the indicative mood, which refers to definite, certain actions or events, the conditional refers to anything indefinite or uncertain. The French conditional generally corresponds to "would" in English—"would go," "would say," "would run," etc. 

Conjugating the conditional is fairly straightforward. You just take the infinitive form of the verb and add the ending -ais, -ais, -ait, -ions, -iez, or -aient (though there are some exceptions to this rule). Let's take the verb parler (to talk) as an example:

je parlerais (I would talk)                        nous parlerions (we would talk)
tu parlerais (you [sing.] would talk)        vous parleriez (you [pl.] would talk)
il/elle parlerait (he/she would talk)          ils/elles parleraient (they would talk)

BANNER PLACEHOLDER

You may have noticed that these endings are the same as those used in the imperfect tense. In fact, you'll often see the conditional paired with the imperfect in si (if) clauses:

Que ferais-tu si tu gagnais à la loterie?  
What would you do if you won the lottery?

Si j'avais soigné mon épaule,

If I had taken care of my shoulder,

je lèverais mon bras.

I would raise my arm.

Captions 14-15, Le saviez-vous? - Le mode du conditionnel

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(J'avais soigné is actually a pluperfect construction, which Patricia reviews in another video.)

The conditional isn't only found in si clauses. You can also use it to express a request or a wish:

Pardon, excusez-moi,

Sorry, excuse me,

est-ce que vous pourriez m'aider à traverser la rue?

could you help me cross the street?

Caption 22, Cap 24 - Alessandro Di Sarno se met à nu !

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Je voudrais juste une rose.

I would just like a rose.

Caption 11, Bande-annonce - La Belle et La Bête

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As we discussed in a previous lesson, the conditional can also be used to express uncertainty or to report something you heard from someone else. In this case it's often translated with words like "apparently," "supposedly," "reportedly," etc.:

Le rire serait aussi bénéfique que le sport.

Laughter is apparently as good for you as sports.

Caption 16, Le Journal - Les effets bénéfiques du rire!

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BANNER PLACEHOLDER

In our next lesson, we'll show you how to construct the conditional in the past tense. In the meantime, be sure to check out Patricia's video on the future tense, which has a similar conjugation pattern to the conditional. You wouldn't want to get them confused!
 

There's a simple French construction you can use when you're talking about getting someone to do something: faire ("to make" or "to do") + infinitive. It may even be easier than actually getting them to do it!

The construction is known as the causative, and as its name suggests, it's used whenever the subject is causing something to happen. Just put faire in front of whatever action you want someone to do:

On essaie juste de se défouler et de faire rire l'autre.

They just try to unwind and to make each other laugh.

Caption 6, Le Journal - Les effets bénéfiques du rire!

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BANNER PLACEHOLDER

"Faire + infinitive" is especially useful when you're having someone perform a service:

Henri Quatre...

Henry the Fourth...

décida de faire construire une place en l'honneur du Dauphin,

decided to have a square built in honor of the Dauphin,

la place Dauphine.

the Place Dauphine.

Captions 17-18, Voyage dans Paris - Ponts de Paris

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Je vais faire réparer mon ordinateur.

I'm going to get my computer fixed.  

Incidentally, if you're talking about making someone or something an adjective, the construction to use is rendre ("to make" or "to render") + adjective (never "faire + adjective"):

Ce cadeau va rendre mon ami heureux.

This gift will make my friend happy. 

Like most verbal constructions, "faire + infinitive" can also become reflexive. In this case, the subject is being made to do something (not making someone else do it). Of course, being made to do something isn't always a good thing:

Je me suis fait voler mon sac.

I had my bag stolen. 

Je me suis retrouvé en train de me faire réveiller.

I found myself being awakened.

Caption 10, Le Journal - Les relations franco-gabonaises

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Ben non, il faut se faire entendre, hein.

Well, no, you have to be heard, you know.

Caption 59, Manif du Mois - Fukushima plus jamais ça

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Me faire réveiller and se faire entendre could be translated more literally as "having myself be awakened" and "make oneself be heard."

The reflexive form of "faire + infinitive" can also be used to describe something that you have someone do for you or to you:

Je me fais livrer mon dîner chaque nuit.

I have my dinner delivered to me every night. 

On peut aller se faire faire des massages.

You can go have a massage.

Caption 25, Le Journal - iDTGV

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BANNER PLACEHOLDER

There's no typo in that last example—the second faire is just the infinitive part of the "faire + infinitive" construction. Without it, you would have on peut aller se faire des massages, or "you can go give yourself a massage," which isn't nearly as luxurious. 

Now that you know all this, you can sit back and have a French person build a square in your honor. You deserve it! 

Well, it's official. French Prime Minister François Fillon has declared that the title mademoiselle (Miss) will no longer be included on any government forms or documents. The decision comes after months of campaigning by two French feminist groups, Osez le féminisme! (Dare To Be Feminist!) and Les Chiennes de garde (The Watchdogs), who argue that the term places an unfair emphasis on a woman's marital status. Mademoiselle literally means "my young lady" (ma + demoiselle), just as madame comes from "my lady" and monsieur "my lord." Monsieur has long been used to identify both single and married men, as the archaic male equivalent of mademoiselle, mon damoiseau, never became an honorific title. Now madame will be used for all women, whether single or married, and is thus best translated as "Ms." instead of "Mrs."   

Our last lesson was about four tricky, same-sounding conjugations of être (to be). Now we're going to look more closely at two of them, seraient and serait, as examples of a special use of the conditional mood of être.

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As you remember from last time, the conditional is often indicated in English by the use of "would." "That would be better with sugar" becomes, Ça serait mieux avec du sucre. However, the French conditional mood does not always correspond to an exact English equivalent using "would."

L'OMS [Organisation mondiale de la santé]

The WHO [World Health Organization]

publie un rapport inquiétant aujourd'hui:

published a troublesome report today:

cinq pour cent des nouveaux cas de tuberculose

five percent of new tuberculosis cases

seraient multirésistants,

appear to be multi-resistant strains,

ce qui implique des traitements beaucoup plus lourds.

which require much heavier treatments.

Captions 6-8, Le Journal - La tuberculose

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Here we find a different use for the conditional in French, that of introducing a very slight element of uncertainty. It's often found in somewhat formal contexts, such as news reports. Notice that our translation doesn't say that the strains of TB "are" multi-resistant or that they "would be" multi-resistant, but rather that they "appear to be" so. We find something similar in a Le Journal story examining the trend toward "retro" baby names in France:

Et pourquoi pas? Après tout, Adèle, Victorine,

And why not? After all, Adèle, Victorine,

Ernest ou Alphonse seraient sur le retour.

Ernest or Alphonse seem to be coming back.

Caption 18, Le Journal - Choisir un nom d'enfant

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In this usage, the speaker is indicating that she is not 100% sure of the facts at hand. It wouldn't do to say sont sur le retour (are coming back), perhaps because the evidence is anecdotal or otherwise unscientific. As you can see in the above translation, this use of the conditional, seraient, is analogous to the phrase "seem to be" in English. A closer, more literal translation might be "are supposed to be," but we wouldn't use that in English because "supposed to," idiomatically, connotes obligation (as in, "Aren't you supposed to be at school?"). But in a literal sense, the speaker is supposing that a given statement is true and scrupulously indicating so to the listener by using the conditional.

Similarly, "is apparently" might be the right fit:

Le rire serait aussi bénéfique que le sport.

Laughter is apparently as good for you as sports.

Caption 16, Le Journal - Les effets bénéfiques du rire!

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In a slightly different context, it might make more sense to translate this usage with the phrase "are reportedly":

Près d'une centaine de domaines du Bordelais

Nearly a hundred properties in the Bordeaux region

seraient aujourd'hui en vente.

are reportedly for sale today.

Caption 28, Le Journal - Les vignobles

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Mais attention! As with many things concerning the French language, the use of the conditional to express uncertainty can be quite subtle. In fact, it can express such a minute degree of doubt that we wouldn't bother to express it in English. So sometimes we don't translate it. There's an example of this in our video about climate change:

D'après les scientifiques,

According to scientists,

les bouleversements climatiques les plus profonds seraient à venir.

the most drastic climatic changes are still to come.

Caption 34, Le Journal - Indices révélateurs des glaciers

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BANNER PLACEHOLDER

The speaker here is using the conditional seraient to accentuate the subjective aspect of the assertion, already indicated by the phrase d'après les scientifiques (according to scientists). In English, we consider the introductory phrase to be sufficient—we wouldn't say "the most drastic climatic changes would be to come." It's no accident that "nuance" is a French word!

We hope there's no doubt whatsoever that this lesson was helpful!

For more discussion of this topic, visit this Word Reference Forum thread.