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How to Make a Polite and Friendly Request in French

Knowing how to make a polite request in French is one of the first things taught in tourist guidebooks. In this lesson, we will dig a little deeper and explore the many ways of asking for something in a variety of situations, whether it be shopping, asking for directions, eating out, and more. Through our video examples, we will also discover the cultural niceties and etiquette that help smooth out such interactions.

 

As is customary in most countries, in France it is considered good form to greet the person you come into contact with. As the speaker in this video reminds us, it is important to toujours dire bonjour (always say hello):

 

Ah, ben oui... La politesse, la courtoisie, toujours dire bonjour, garder le sourire.

Oh, well yes... Politeness, courtesy, always say hello, keep smiling.

Caption 3, Télésonne Micro-trottoir : Comment manifester sa gentillesse?

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So don’t skip the bonjour part even when passing through the checkout line or buying a baguette at the bakery, for example:

 

Bonjour, je voudrais une baguette et deux croissants, s’il vous plaît.

Hi, I’d like a baguette and two croissants, please.

 

When on the phone, it is possible to substitute allô (hello) for bonjour, maybe to sound more friendly. Listen to Lionel making a trip reservation in this video. He starts with bonjour and then uses the conditional structure je voudrais (I would like to) + infinitive. (See our previous lesson on the conditional tense here.)

 

Oui, bonjour! Euh... je voudrais, euh, faire un voyage au Parc Astérix.

Yes, hello! Uh... I would like, uh, to take a trip to Parc Astérix [Astérix Park].

Caption 2, Réservation d'un voyage au Parc Astérix

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When asking for directions, instead of using the ubiquitous bonjour, you may want to catch the person’s attention first with the polite formula: Pardon, monsieur/madame, excusez-moi (Sorry, sir/madam, excuse me). Of course, it does not hurt to say s’il vous plaît (please) as well:

 

Pardon monsieur, excusez-moi. Place Vendôme, s’il vous plaît ?

Sorry sir, excuse me. Place Vendôme [Vendôme Square], please

 

In the example above, you will notice that the speaker is using formal language, with the verb in the second-person plural in the imperative mood (excusez-moi) and the formal vous in s’il vous plaît (literally, "if you please"). It is much simpler in English, as there is only one way of saying “you,” unless you want to sound Shakespearian!

 

When addressing a friend, you may drop the formal tone of your request and switch to the second-person singular of the verb by leaving out the Z at the end: excusez-moi —> excuse-moi (excuse me), like the shy chef does in this video. In an awkward and apologetic sort of way, he tries to sound casual and uses the personal pronoun te (you) to address his employee, whom he is about to ask out on a first date:

 

Excuse-moi... Je suis un peu gêné de te demander ça mais...

Excuse me... I'm a bit embarrassed to ask you this but...

Caption 51, Le Jour où tout a basculé J'ai volé pour nourrir mon fils - Part 3

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Further along in the video, the shy chef eventually plucks up the courage to ask his employee for a drink. First, he softens his request by using the imperfect tense, je voulais te demander (I wanted to ask you). Then, being ever so polite, he reformulates his question and asks her si tu serais d’accord pour qu’on aille (if she would agree to go for a drink together). Note how he manages to use two different verbal moods here, the conditional and the subjunctive, plus the imperfect tense!

 

Ce que je voulais te demander c'est... si tu serais éventuellement d'accord pour qu'on aille boire un verre ensemble?

What I wanted to ask you is... if you would possibly agree to go for a drink together?

Captions 57-59, Le Jour où tout a basculé J'ai volé pour nourrir mon fils - Part 3

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Thankfully, not every request needs to sound as complicated as the one above. In informal situations, you can simply say peux-tu (can you) and use the present tense for a slightly more direct approach:

 

Peux-tu m'appeler?

Can you call me?

Caption 33, Conversations au parc Ep. 1: Je n'ai pas mon téléphone

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Here is another example of a more direct approach. In the cartoon series Les Zooriginaux, Loupia asks Gigi the giraffe to ouvre-moi (open up for me) during a curfew. Here we have the imperative mood, since it is a command rather than a request, followed by the informal form of "please," s’il te plaît. (Refer to this lesson for info on pronoun placement with the imperative mood.)

 

Ouvre-moi vite s'il te plaît

Open up for me quickly, please

Caption 26, Les zooriginaux The Zoo Book - Part 3

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And if you're in need of help, this little phrase could come in handy: aide-moi (help me).

 

Et sauve-moi encore, aide-moi

And save me again, help me

Caption 2, Normandie TV Indochine au Zénith de Caen

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Or, in its plural/formal version:

 

Et sauvez-moi encore, aidez-moi

And save me again, help me

 

In a critical situation, you can ask for help this way:

 

Au secours! À l'aide! À l'aide!

Help! Help! Help!

Caption 24, Il était une fois: Notre Terre 25. Technologies - Part 3

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There is yet another way to ask for help, or anything else for that matter: with the impersonal phrase il faut que tu (you have to) + subjunctive. Remember to use tu (you) if you are talking to a friend:

 

Il faut que tu m'aides, je crois.

You have to help me, I think.

Caption 5, Anna et Louis Le vocabulaire des jeunes

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In a more formal situation such as asking your boss to help you, or when you're addressing more than one person, use vous. And don't forget that il faut que (you have to) is always followed by a verb in the subjunctive mood.

 

Il faut que vous m’aidiez, je crois.

You have to help me, I think.

 

Moving on to a totally different context, such as ordering food or drinks, for example, things are a lot simpler. You can just order a drink or food by saying je vais (vous) prendre. This is how Johanna orders her beer. Note that she uses the formal pronoun vous when speaking to the waiter:

 

Euh... je vais vous prendre une bière, s'il vous plaît.

Uh... I'll take a beer from you, please.

Caption 19, Joanna Son quartier

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Or you may prefer the simpler version: 

 

Je vais prendre une bière, s'il vous plaît.

I'll take a beer, please.

 

And for yet a more basic approach, you can just name your drink, and you will still get your beer…as long as you say s’il vous plaît!

 

Une bière, s'il vous plaît.

A beer, please.

 

In conclusion, making a polite request in French is not that different from English, but knowing when and how to use formal and informal language, which is an integral part of French etiquette, can be challenging. So be aware that your choice of words, tenses, moods, and pronouns will affect the tone of your message. This makes for complicated grammar choices at times, but feel free to explore our grammar lessons and videos to help you. Thank you for reading!

Vocabulary

Arabic Words in the French Language

It’s no secret that many English words have become part of the French language. What is not so well-known, however, is how much Arabic has influenced European languages. From the Moorish occupation of Spain to the latest waves of North African immigrants, Arabs have had a strong presence in Europe. So, it’s no surprise that Arabic terms have crept into the French language. Let’s explore some of them.

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Many of these words were adapted to sound more like French over time, so much so that French people use words of Arabic origin every day without realizing it. For example, a typical day may start with un café, derived from the Arabic word qahwa:

 

Les adultes boivent plus du café ou du thé

Adults drink coffee or tea more

Caption 9, Arles Le petit déjeuner

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Arab cuisine has also become part of the French cooking repertoire. For example, you can find the spicy Maghrebi sausage called merguez in most supermarkets nowadays. In the video below, Parisians can’t resist the smell of merguez:

 

les odeurs de merguez, de frites, euh...

the smells of merguez, of French fries, uh...

Caption 8, Manif du Mois La traditionnelle manif du 1er mai

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People even use Arabic terms when talking about routine activities, like aller au magasin (going to the store), a word borrowed from the Arabic makazin, which originally referred to a warehouse. The meaning of introduced words often departs from the original:

 

Alors, nous sommes dans un magasin.

So, we're in a shop.

Caption 24, Extr@ Ep. 2 - Sam fait du shopping - Part 3

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Other times, loanwords have remained close to the original Arabic meaning. French borrowed the term souk, which is a marketplace in Northern Africa. But the word has also become slang for a messy place and is often accompanied by an exclamation mark:

 

Quel souk!

What a mess!

 

The somewhat dated expression faire la nouba (to party) kept its Arabic sound but lost its original meaning. La nouba refers to traditional songs and dances performed by Algerian women. The term later became slang, first used in the military, for partying and living it up:

 

J’aime trop faire la nouba.

I love to party a lot.

 

While young people may not use the same Arabic expressions as their parents, today’s youth adopted their own new set of Arabic words to add to their vocabulary and complement their favorite verlan expressions. In his conversation with Anna, Louis greets her using the term wesh, borrowed directly from Algerian slang, which is equivalent to "hi," "yo," or "what's up":

 

Wesh ["salut" en arabe] Anna.

Wesh ["hi" in Arabic] Anna.

Caption 1, Anna et Louis Le vocabulaire des jeunes

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Louis also uses the word kiffer (to love). Kif originally served as a slang word for drugs, equivalent to "dope" or "hash" in English. By extension, the verb kiffer came to mean "to smoke hash." Nowadays, though, kiffer mostly functions as a general synonym of aimer:

 

En vrai, Louis, je kiffe bricoler

For real, Louis, I love tinkering

Caption 45, Anna et Louis J'ai besoin d'un coup de main

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Conversely, something that is pas kiffant is not fun:

 

Enfin c'était pas kiffant, quoi

Well, it wasn't fun, you know

Caption 14, Anna et Louis Hier soir

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Speaking of pas kiffant, you might hear someone in trouble use the expression avoir le seum, slang for being depressed, frustrated, or in a bad spot:

 

Moi, j'ai trop le seum.

Me, I'm really frustrated.

Caption 14, Sophie et Edmée Les études de médecine

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Ben, euh... moi j'ai un peu le seum

Well, uh... I'm kind of in a bad spot

Caption 8, Edmée et Fanny Les présidentielles à 20 ans

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The reason for all this seum (trouble) might be a lack of moula (moolah), which is one of several slang terms for money:

 

Pour les langages des jeunes et plus récemment: "la moula", "la moulaga", "les lovés", "les bifs" et "les waris."

In youth language, and more recently: "la moula" [moolah], "la moulaga," "les lovés," "les bifs," and "les waris."

Captions 24-26, Lionel L L'argent

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The lack of moula might well prompt the use of the Maghrebi expression c’est la hess ("it’s hell," "it’s a struggle"). Imagine a hungry teenager opening an empty refrigerator, saying:

 

Le frigo est vide, c’est vraiment la hess.

The fridge is empty, it’s hell.

 

The Algerian term hess or hass originally referred to licking the plate clean, in other words starving. 

 

As you may have noticed, many Arabic loanwords come into French as slang, and thus change from generation to generation. However, many of these words, such as café and magasin, have been part of the French vocabulary for many years, centuries even, and are not at all slang. In any case, there is no shortage of Arabic words in the French language. Watch for new ones in Yabla videos!

 
Vocabulary